Small feet, the world to travel

The best time of the day to relax, go to a park or to take a leisurely walk to your favorite cafe: in the morning when others are in a hurry to get to work. It's not because you are the only one with a free morning or that they should be jealous of you for not having to rush to the office, instead there's  a one of a kind atmosphere which is a bit hard to describe. Maybe it has something to do with the air of expectations and a new beginning that mornings tend to support. Or maybe it's the lightness of the wind and sunlight which haven't woken up properly yet, but are already brushing your hair and softly caressing your skin. Or maybe it's the shortness of the to-do list people are writing in their heads. There might be a long one to take care today, but the number one, the one with the highest priority and not to be confused with nothing else is the task of getting to the workplace or school or whatever it is that you do from 9 to 5. Or perhaps it is indeed t

On saturday I met a eskimo called Luke in a bar. This made me realize that maybe it was time to post something considering that last week was the week of spontaneous partying which I'm sure most of you know isn't that typical for me. I could try to blame other people for this sudden urge to spend nights in bars and clubs and go to work with a modest hangover on the next day. First of course there are my workmates and the newbies in our team who needed a proper welcome to the group. I had just thrown on my running clothes when I got the call to report on duty and make sure every rookie would have a hangover the next day. I arrived home 6am the next day, so I think we did a pretty good job.  Evening jog view Secondly there was my cousin who missed the Friday evening boat coming to Tallinn so I needed to go out to get over the huge change of plans. After walking half an hour in high heels around the cobblestone streets in old town trying to locate my friends I finally fou

As you might remember from my last post the general atmosphere at the Hovila residence in Tallinn has been somewhat frustrated. For a couple of weeks it has felt like banging my head on the wall would be the only solution to many, many problems and stuck situations. I actually have had this sensation on my forehead as if my head is asking me to hit it against the wall. A sign of madness, huh? One of the many...  Well, at least for now I have spared my walls from the damage. Even though even more complications and setbacks have crossed my path, I've tried to take a different approach. I have given in. What comes to uni work I finally realised the true meaning of prioritizing and also the worst possible outcomes of it. I passed all courses and that's the most important part. I also made a decision that simplified my life a bit, at least for the summer: instead of working my ass of for the final thesis, I'll do a final exam. For some reason the entire time I've been i

This is now the third time I have started this post so I think I'm just gonna keep it short and simple for your sake... It's my 23rd birthday, a quarter of a century is getting nearer and life is good. It's messy, but it's kind of awesome that way. There are a bunch of unanswered questions, vague responses and a couple of conversations that no one really remembers and for a couple of days I have felt like banging my head to the wall would be the only thing that could help me with this frustration. Those of you who know me are aware that at times I can be a bit hasty and impatient and when I don't get the answers I need in a timely manner I'm not all pleased. At the moment I feel like being honest about how I feel and asking the questions that bother me are the easiest ways to get somewhere with my life, but as it has turned out not everyone can take it. Straightforward questions aren't everybody's cup of tea.  So in honour of my birthday I'l

Finally it's here. After 19 months of living with government grants (God, that sounds awful) I have money on my account that I have actually worked for. How was the day then? Check your account balance after breakfast. Nothing there. New Estonian bank account, balance +0,00, depressing. What's wrong with these Estonians? We are 10 hours in my payday and I still don't have my money?! Work training today, "complex client situations" aka difficult and pissed off customers and how to cope with them without committing a suicide. Nice 7 hours with two Finnish guys that I already knew from our previous training in Helsinki. Good instructor, knows his topic, but mostly familiar stuff for me. I talk too much, again. I told myself to shut up several times. Can't help it, it's in my nature. "What is the word for a customer that talks a lot and won't listen?" "Pauliina". God, I love my coworkers...  It's raining outside. Damn,

I know that to most of you this will sound completely crazy, but I think that talking to strangers is wonderful. There's something magical about the connection you will be able to create with a person you have never met before if you find that you are on the same level, tuned on the same channel. The flow in that moment is truly remarkable. Perfect no-strings-attached relationship with a certain kind of uniqueness in the anonymity since you are present, but to the other person you are a tabula rasa. To create a short connection, even if it's over in a flash and you greet the person goodbye with a smile and walk away, you have gained an open attitude that welcomes the world in.  In where you ask? In you. Because we are the world like the song says. Even thought we are not tied to the ground or do not possess the greatness of the any of the four elements, we grow from the world itself and belong into it. And therefore welcoming world in gives you happiness. It gives you peac